Today is a rainy day, and it's bringing everything with it that is normally associated it. Physically, I have a headache and I'm dealing with a cough from allergy drainage. Mentally, I'm fatigued and depressed. Mostly because yet again, I find myself in only one of those flub ups that I can get myself into. I'm good about getting on and disclosing pieces of information, but I never fully reveal everything. I mean, it is the internet and I'm not a complete idiot. Only a little bit of one.
So, I thought I'd get on and try to bleed some of my emotional distress on this page to relieve some emotion. Not sure if it will work at all, but anything is worth a try, right?
Coming to terms with who you are, what your weaknesses are, what an idiot you can be, really is a difficult thing. The older you get, the more you realize all of these things and that you're pretty helpless to be able to control it. I've tried to better myself, but in reality, none of it will ever change without the help of Jesus. Someone that I haven't been in regular contact as of late. I don't know why I continue to avoid him, but I do. None of what I'm doing is working - it doesn't make sense to stay away - and yet I do. Honestly, I'd rather just lay down and sleep my life away now. Don't guess that's possible...
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