Up WAY Too Late...

I'm about to head to bed...it's 4:06 am as I begin writing this.  Why write?  For one, I'm indulging on milk and cookies before I sleep :).  But mostly because I'm listening to music, and once again I find myself not wanting to stop.  What is it about music that motivates me, that makes me pensive, that causes me to FEEL so much?  Does everyone feel this?  Is this level of deep feeling...this movement of who I am at the unique combination of chords and rhythms...is this felt by everyone?  It's an obsession as much of a healing element in my life.  I know there are others who feel this...who are enraptured by the ecstasy of waves combined to bounce off my ear drums.  It speaks to me, it speaks FOR me.

Could THIS be my motivational tool?  The opportunity to move in a primal rhythm to various sounds and beats?  As ridiculous and archaic as this post may sound to most, I can't help but feel every beat, every sound resound within my soul and my body.  I praise God every day for giving me this pleasure.  If I can simply prepare these things in a succession that causes me to get up and move, could THAT be the answer to my constant struggle to care for myself?  To be selfish enough to take time out to listen to my favorite music while working my body at the same time?  Only time will tell...but hopefully with this move into a bigger place with more space, I will find that the pounds will melt off like butter...Please, Lord, make it so.

As a side note, milk and cookies are NOT that great after eating shrimp scampii...the butter and lemon and garlic do NOT mix *grimaces*. 

Exercise Happens...

This morning I did 20 squats and 20 wall push-ups.  I have to begin working out sometime, right? And I have to begin somewhere, right?  All of this came about because I have a few friends on Facebook who have been posting their workout stuff - now, granted, I usually just look at the ones from the skinny people and just kind of get depressed.  But one lady, who is bigger, posted her information and I had two simultaneous thoughts run through my head, and I think this probably is a testament to the devil on one shoulder and an angel on another :).  The first was, "I'm really proud of her, she cares about herself and is doing something about it."  The other was, "OMG she's going to lose more weight than me..." *grins*.  Horrible, I know, but I try to be honest about the things going on in my life, even if there aren't really that many people reading my blog.

SO - I got up and did some exercises.  First time in like ages when I've been saying "I need to get some exercise" that I actually got up and did some.  Maybe that's what I need to get my butt off the couch and moving - some competition.

I need to remember that I have to start SOMEwhere.  That's the big issue. So, I'm stopping in to give a report on what I've done so far today - not sure if I necessarily want to post it on Facebook for 1500 friends to see, but maybe that's what I need - an audience to watch me and hold me accountable.  Live my life publicly and out loud on purpose.  Show the world that I have nothing to hide...except my dirty house that we still haven't cleaned... >.>