Hiding Failure!

I try to be as open and honest with myself and those around as much as I can.  There are certain failures I don't think the Lord necessarily WANTS me to share, but I wouldn't hide them if I was asked to share it.  But today, I find myself reverting back to a familiar pattern that I need to admit to and see if I can stop the cycle from repeating itself.

You see, my back has been bad the last week, and I was out for 3 1/2 days because of it.  Not only do we have a concert tonight, but we have the Renaissance Faire on Saturday as well.  And because of the way things have happened, we're not as prepared as we should be.  That's not the kids' fault, that's mine for not preparing them better.  So when I get frustrated in class because they're not doing what I need them to, and then I find them goofing off and not behaving the way they should, I get extremely angry at them - a few unnamed students in particular.  And then I feel guilty for getting so angry - the whole class doesn't deserve my wrath.

And so I look back at the Colossians 3 that it seems I've been parked in for the last week.  And it talks ALL about how I should behave.  And once again, I see I'm failing miserably.  Try harder? No, it's not for me to TRY anything.  It's my business to be resting in Jesus and allow Him to handle things, because no matter how hard I try, it's only going to get worse.  And Nick has been talking about this lately, too.  Guess it's time for me to listen to my own preaching :).

So here I am, hoping that I can get my act together.  I don't want these kids to think I hate them - if anything, I love them more than most teachers do (to the point of carrying their problems home with me so I can keep them in prayer).

Lord, forgive me for my stupid mistakes and help me do better next time.  Help me to be better prepared in the future.  Don't let me fall into the same traps - I need your guidance and help!

Forming New Habits

And so it begins!  I started a new fitness routine this morning.  It was in the back of my mind, but as I was taking Nick to work this morning, I saw John Burroughs running around MCHS and I suddenly felt very guilty *grins*.  He can do it, so can I...besides, I don't want to buy new clothes.  I want to wear the ones I haven't been able to fit into in a while :).  It's a much more rewarding feeling.

Well, just checking in briefly before I head in to work.  Big day today...have to put my room back in order *facedesk*.  This is going to be fun - but I think I have some very sweet cheerleaders who are going to come and help me :).  God, give me the wisdom on how to speak to these kids.  I know they're not firmly grounded in the values they need, but I hope that I'll somehow be able to help them from making mistakes that will hurt them in the end.  Please help me make a difference in their lives even when I may not have it all together, either.

I suddenly wish I had more time in the morning :).  Getting up early ain't quite so bad...I just need to remember to go to bed *grins*.

Hope y'all have a great day - I'm going to do my best to do so :)!